Baby · Contentment · Family · Journaling · Parenting · Scripture

Pondering This Season

“Children are not a distraction from more important work.  They are the most important work.”

John Trainer, M.D.

I wish the Scriptures went a little bit more into describing Mary’s emotions, thoughts and interactions with her children, specifically with her boys.  I love the part of the gospels where it only says, “And Mary pondered these things in her heart.”  Whether its from my momma, a stranger at the grocery store or an inner voice that whispers, “savor…ponder…enjoy,” I have been constantly reminded to listen, hug a lot, and play with my boys.  While I’m nursing Charlie or reading the same book for the fourth time to Hudson, I envision myself being an old woman whose boys are grown up, thinking back to this season as the best years of my life.

With that said, there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t find myself stretched to my limits, believing that I might actually be the worst parent that ever lived.  It’s a roller coaster of emotions. One minute I find myself wondering if a four-hour nap humane, the next moment I’m about to lose my cool, only to be completely softened when I hear, “Ah, hug, mommy?”  I’m completely in awe of the deep love and relationship one can have with a twenty-three-month-old and even more in awe of the mystery that after the kids are all in bed asleep, we moms are ready for the next day with its opportunity to love on our kids all over again.

Hudson amazes me with how quickly he picks up on things.  He is growing up so fast and learning by the minute.  His newest developmental skill he has picked up on is playing pretend.  His cars now crash and race each other.  His animals give each other kisses and discuss things like “chocolate” and “blueberries” (two of his favorite foods).  I have been waiting anxiously for Hudson to learn pretend and absolutely love to watch him when he does.  However, this is also an area that has the potential to completely drain me.  All day long, I am followed by Hudson asking, “Ah, play mommy?  Ah, play mommy??”  Then when I sit down to play with him (usually trains, planes or Legos), Hudson just sits there and stares at me.

I remember being somewhere between the ages of three and five years old, begging my mom to come play with me.  One specific morning, she agreed and I ran back to my room with much excitement to get everything ready.  Once we started to play, I remember thinking how awful my mom’s pretend skills were!  After a couple of minutes of disappointment, I asked her to leave me alone.  Now I’m the parent!  What in the world is going on in Hudson’s mind…..

And then there is Charlie Boy.

This kid is going to give me a run for my money.  His little personality is really starting to come out and might I say, I am in big trouble!  He is a ball of energy and will soon be bossing his older brother around.  He is on the move and loves how this new fun activity gets him closer to big brother’s toys.  We have also learned that Charlie is allergic to milk.  So that is fun.  Good timing too, especially as we start a few solids here in the next month or so…

I need to cut this post short.  I’m being summand to play bike as I type!  Hopefully I’m better at playing bike than I am with trains….

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2 thoughts on “Pondering This Season

  1. you are so cute. I remember playing Barbie with Natalie and she got mad at me for “not playing right.” She then kicked me out of her room as well. I did a little bit better with trains or things with a purpose, like a puzzle, though 🙂 You are doing a great job! The good news is that it won’t be long until they play together, which is the most adorable thing in the world!!

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